Posted by: Lea | November 20, 2008

Ego’s Identity

When I first heard the word detachment regarding spiritual development years ago, I really didn’t understand what it really meant. I really didn’t know anyone who had an spiritual definition of it either. I presumed it was related to our emotions and in a way it is. The more attached we are to something or someone, the more emotionally connected we are to it or them. So it was difficult for me to grasp how you can love and yet be detached. You can probably imagine what my husband at that time must have been experiencing as I tried to learn detachment.

I now understand that attachment is created from our ego identifying who we are  with something or someone outside of ourselves. It’s very easy to think that your job or your role in your relationship or family is who you are and define yourself by it, when actually you are so much more.

I know I may not sparkle like a multi faceted gemstone, yet I know I am multi facet and I am certain you are too. Yet many people feel a loss of identity when they lose their job or a love partner for example.

In the course of becoming a professional/employee or a love/marriage partner, they started to identify who they are with those aspects of their life. These became important because ego attached self identity to them.

To love is to open your heart without losing your soul. Detachment is the opposite of attachment. So if you live in the awareness that your job, your relationships or the things you possess does not make who you are, then you are all ready living detachment.



  1. Great post Lea. I had a conversation with a friend recently and she accused me of not caring about the emotional drama that she is going through, she said I seemed unfeeling and uncaring.

    I took great care to explain to her that I was not being unsympathetic, I simply want to be able to listen to her and have discussions with her but I do not want to feel the emotions of what she is feeling. It is important for me to be detached from her emotions so that I can not only think clearly and advise her to the best of my ability but also to avoid attracting those negative emotions to my life.

  2. some times we have to detach from people as well as things.

  3. To me detachment is about recognizing that each one of us are sovereign beings, all creating our own reality. If I don’t like what is going on in my life, it is a reminder to focus on what I desire. When friends and loved ones share their drama with me, I encourage them to stop focusing on what they don’t want.

    One thing that comes up often though, is the need to hold ourselves accountable. Dumping anger on others is abusive. Express and release in private, and then focus on the positive. It is a choice.

    If you resonate with peace and harmony, then those with like energy will be drawn to you, and that which is not of the same vibration will drop away. Allowing this process is detachment, yes?

    Many blessings.

  4. Hi carol

    I hope your friend understood your explanation and yes, sometimes it is necessary to detach from certain people. Especially those who are abusive, but also those who continuously bring negative energy.

    Have a great weekend filled with many blessings

  5. Hi Carrie

    I agree with you completely. No one needs that negative energy, including the one who is venting the anger.

    Many blessings to you.


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