Posted by: Lea | September 23, 2008

Unhealthy Relationships

We will encounter and interact with a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Some will be casual acquaintances, close friends, business partners and intimate partners. Then there might be some to whom we need to distance ourselves from. Relationships can be the most difficult when communication, respect and honesty are impaired or absent. This can include family relationships as well.

Some people have a harder time with relationships than others. You might feel that your relationships with different people repeat certain problematic issues or circumstances. Perhaps people you trust turn out to be deceitful, show disrespect to you or betray you in some way. If this should be the case, reviewing and comparing patterns of current and past relationships might be appropriate.

Do you feel that the wrong people gravitate to you?

It’s important to set boundaries and keep your associations with people within those boundaries. At first your relationship with a person  might seem harmless to you, but people outside of that relationship might be seeing something that your not. If they voice their concern, listen and analyze  what they’re telling you.  Is the person being respectful to you, respects your needs, shows respect to your family and friends? You deserve respect and there is no excuse for someone to be disrespectful to you, not even during arguments.  Be aware and realistic about the type of people you allow to get close to you and who you need to distance yourself from. Set your boundaries and stick with them.

We all should be loving to those around us. This doesn’t mean that you have to put up with someone who treats you with disrespect, embarrasses you or makes you feel bad about yourself. To continue to be around someone who does not treat you with respect and as an equal is an indication you do not love yourself. You need to love and care for yourself as much as you love and care for others. Everyone desires love. If you seem to attract people that cause you unhappiness, be aware of the patterns and analyze what changes you might make to change those patterns.

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  1. This is so true. A helpful book that illustrates this is “Why is This Happening to Me Again” by Dr. Michael Rice. Everyone can actually preview the whole thing in pdf format chapter by chapter at his site

    He also has some worksheets for recognizing, working through and releasing that energy. These can be downloaded for free at his site as well.


  2. Thank you for that information SpiritFREE1. I’m not familiar with Dr. Ryce. According to Amazon’s site though, his book is rated well by those who have read it.

  3. Quite an eye opener. Never heard of Dr Ryce before today. quite impressed.

  4. Excellent article. I’m one of those people that the bad people gravitate to. I seem to choose relationships that are bad for me, and I realize this, yet I still stay in them. After awhile though, I learn to get out but yes, it has taken its toll on me and I now feel lower than ever after my last relationship. I’m going to take time off from dating until I can heal myself and find out why I do this.


    Dianas last blog post..6 Things You Should Never Say on a Date

  5. Hello martin

    I’m not familiar with Dr. Ryce either. What I saw looked interesting though. Thank you for coming by.

  6. Hi Diana

    I’ve had my share of attracting destructive types into my life too. Perhaps everyone runs into this in their life, but maybe they handle it more realistically.

    For me, I think it had a lot to do with my discomfort in saying “no” to people. I’m not comfortable saying or doing things that might be upsetting to others even if its truthful and needs to be said, this has caused me a lot of problems.

    Thank you for stopping by.

  7. People say that in a relationship, it has to be two-way, give and take. But there are people who are selfish that’s why some are taken for granted and ended up hurt inside.

    mharmss last blog post..A Tree Frog Stuck On The Wall

  8. Hello mharms

    That is very true on both counts. People who are self involved forget to give back. This leads to partners in the relationship to feel unappreciated.

    Thank you for stopping by and for your comment. I hope to see you again soon. Many blessings

  9. Hello imelda

    True. That’s when good communication becomes important. Open, none complaining discussions goes a long way toward helping partners understand each other and solidifying their relationship.

    Thank you for your comment. Blessings