It’s said the people we encounter and interact with are mirrors of ourselves. That whenever we feel upset or angry toward someone, if we search within ourselves we will be able to see what the other person is mirroring back to us. During one of my Kabbalah classes, the instructor made the statement that we need to interact with people because they help us connect with our creator. If we feel we are repeatedly attracting people into our life who are in opposition to our path of self exploration, higher knowledge and enlightenment, then how can they possibly be mirrors and reflections of ourselves? After all, we are making a conscious effort to expand ourselves for the purpose of personal growth.
In some cases, I was able to see this and in other instances, I had difficulty with the practicality of these concepts. Part of the reason for that is, yes, sometimes a person will display behavior or an attitude that I might have or had in the past. This would be a lesson that teaches wisdom on how it makes another person feel when I might have behaved in such a way. Thus this person was being a reflection or a mirror to me.
My problem came from understanding how someone who has aspects so opposite and unlike me? How could they possibly be a mirror reflecting me?
Sometimes someone will do something that triggers feelings of disappointment, betrayal, things that can make us feel the person is not loving toward us, which in turn can trigger hurt feelings, anger and sometimes resentment in us. So why was this experience drawn to us? Why did life feel it was necessary for us to experience these feelings and what is being shown to us through the reflection of this person?
Just as there is a great diversity in people, there is diversity in experiences and the things we can learn from them. Therefore, it’s not practical to try to presume what experiences people can expect or what insights those experiences have to offer each person.
What People Can Reflect Back
In my case, despite being a loving person, wanting love in my life and one who values truth, I often found myself surrounded by people who behaved unloving towards me and were often deceitful. Why were these people who were so opposite to me in my life? It took me a long time to discover the answer, which was that I needed to develop self love and self acceptance.
During the early part of my life, self love was not considered a positive thing. People confused self love with a person being in love with themselves, which is egotistical. Egotistical people are in love with themselves, boastful of their own qualities, self centered, a tendency to feel self righteous and feel superior to other people. Where self love is acknowledging that you are lovable, worth loving and deserve love, that you have much to offer the people you interact with as well as the world. Self love is accepting the person you are right now, being as loving and kind to yourself as you are to others.
I suspect a lot of people need to learn this. If you allow people, whether they are members of your family, friends or coworkers, to speak and behave in a disrespectful way to you, then you need to ask what they are mirroring or reflecting back to you? Do you practice self love and self acceptance? If not, until you learn to give love to yourself and accept yourself, people will continue to behave unloving towards you. If you consciously or unconsciously believe that you are unworthy of respect or love, you will continue to attract people who reflect or mirror your belief back to you.
There are numerous experiences that we can learn other lessons from. This particular lesson was a prominent one for me and that’s why I chose it to explain the concept of how people can be mirrors to us, even if their qualities appear opposite to our own.
What insights into yourself and what lessons have you had through your experiences with other people?